A couple about to be married asked me if there was one word I would want to give them that would help them build a happy marriage. And I gave them the word "honor". When I forget that my husband is God's gift to me and that even though he is a sinner who fails from time to time, I'm to honor him because he holds the office of a husband, then we're in trouble. And I must confess that I don't always treat my husband honorably.
Some women ask, "How can I honor my husband when he doesn't deserve it? If he's an alcoholic or if he's an abusive husband, does he deserve respect?" No, he doesn't deserve it, but he is to be honored because he is the husband.
But we also need to realize that not everybody has a right to everything. To honor a child is not to allow him to get away with murder; it is to discipline him, perhaps to spank him. A child has a right to be taken care of and to be taught. But he does not have a right to vote, marry, be taxed--or to run the household!
We must not confuse superiority of position with superiority of worth. A father and mother are not worth more in God's sight than their little child. But they have been given a position above that of the child. They are in charge; they are responsible; they are obligated to discharge their duties for God's sake.
By the same token, an employer honors his employees by being fair and just, by paying them fair wages, by treating them kindly, by remembering that he has God as his master. . . .
Jesus said in Luke 6, "Just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. . . .But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Highest."
Let us ask the Lord to help us give honor where honor is due.
---Elisabeth Elliot in Discovering Joy Through Discipline
